20 Things I Learned In My 20's

Photo Credit: Stock Photo

I describe my twenty somethings so far, as a metamorphosis decade phase in my life. A perfectly wonderful way to describe my 20s is this song Arrival Of The Birds And Transformation by the Cinematic Orchestra. It sure does attempt to describe my thoughts perfectly. It's a metaphorical description of this transformative ever growing, evolving and metamorphosing beautiful life.  Old enough to know better and young enough to take risks.  It's a haul pass to make complete madness decisions and impactful rational ones too. As soon as I turned 21 I realised I took advantage from early on that my 20s were for growth. I took up the opportunities in front of me. A very special person in my life once said to me, "Your who you are, love it take advantage of it the world is yours". Because once your out of your 20s I think a new set of responsibilities and new experiences come along with it, so enjoy the freedom of your 20s. Learning comes from experience, those experiences help form you as a person and make a part of a chapter in your story. People say your 20s are your prime years and yes they are. But I also think your prime years are your 30's, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 100s are too. It's all about perspective. I've treated my 20s as a decade of boldness, experimentation, trial and error, exploration, building establishments, true independence, adulting, expanding, sprinkled with growth and creating beautiful memories. I love that song My Way by Frank Sinatra because it's like an anthem for your 20s. There's a line in that song that says "To think I did all that and may I say, not in a shy way oh no oh no not me I did it my way" I love it. Let it be clear that I am no way advocating that what I have done and learnt is what the reader should. Everyone is unique and you should always strive to be an individual and embrace who you are. What I do is not necessarily what you should do and vice versa. With that rationale in mind, here are some of the many things I have learnt in my 20s so far.

1. Travel 

Travelling is one of the best thing’s money can buy that makes you richer as a person. Richer in knowledge, networking and cultural awareness. Travel widely, not just to the well known locations but the unknown too. I consider myself quite well travelled. I've explored my beautiful home of Australia, South America, North America, Europe, Asia and Oceania. I've travelled the iconic attractions and some not so well known places too. There are also a lot of places I still need to check off my list, including Israel and Saint Moritz in Switzerland for the winter (my parents loved it). Perhaps summer in Toarmina, Italy. But I have to say I've seen a lot in most of the continents I've visited especially South America and Europe, it's been a privileged invaluable experience. Japan as a honeymoon location is looking like an option worth considering. It's different, not a typical honeymoon location and it would be new. A friend of mine went to Japan for hers actually and I just love that. I've always wanted to go; it was the reason I took up Japanese in high school as my choice of language. I was going to name my dog Sushi (instead we settled for Harry), but I digress perhaps see you one day Japan.

To me travelling is a learning experience from different cultures to mine. I feel I have enriched my knowledge on foreign affairs, point of views, globalisation, incredible architecture and lifestyles. Being cultured and socially conscious has benefited me to have a more informed opinion on society. You learn so much from someone of a totally different world to yours. You also learn to become a pro at packing. I'm a master packer, I know what to take from a to z. I never thought I would be the type of person to backpack. But while I was in South America, I left my main packed suitcases in South America and went on a short one week and a half trip to Costa Rica in Central America with just a backpack. I managed to bring everything I needed in just my backpack not even a mini suitcase. Considering I went beach hopping, snorkeling, visited spring waters and volcanoes. I think I've mastered the art of packing. It was minimalism at it's finest and I loved it. I wanted to travel before I marry and have kids etc because I wanted to see the world through my eyes of now.  Although I have years of my 20s decade to go, I wanted to use my time wisely. There is an estimate of 7.7 billion (United Nations) humans on earth as of July 2019, so there is much to explore. Being a cultured globe trotter has given me a richer and better perspective on life and that there is a lot going on outside of the bubble.  Oh, and side note travel insurance is awesome, especially when it can literally cover for something ridiculous (not getting into that).

Also can I just say, how awesome is Whatsapp and Facetime? it's just so convenient to stay updated and to share the love especially when I'm on holiday (like hey you I'm just at one of the seven wonders of the world Macchu Picchu no biggie have no FOMO, how's your Monday?). The first time I went to MP I was thirteen and I've loved revisiting this majestic place ever since. I would highly recommend coca tea for preventing possible altitude sickness it comes in handy. I might make a separate blog post about the places I've travelled to so far, because I don't want to go of on a tangent here. Travelling has also given me an added new found love for Australia. There is something so funny about going back home and hearing "g’day" from the planes captain. You know you’re headed to Australia when they give you Vegemite as a choice of spread, it’s absolutely adorable. I think I’ll always have time to travel. But the 20s are a time when you have a lot more flexibility to travel. Sure I will have the flexibility and freedom in my future decades but I'm also logical. I'll be married and by the conversations I've had with loved ones probably be that woman who has a baby every year for four years straight (so I've been told). So, I'm glad I travelled because I took so many photos and videos but best of all I have the sweetest memories engraved in my mind and heart.

2. Enjoy Food 

Take advantage of the fact that your more than likely to have a fast metabolism in your 20s. So yes, I can totally get away with eating a whole pizza with a side of dessert (yum yay hooray) thank you very much, because somehow it all works out perfectly. I'll likely do an intermittent fast later in the week anyway. It's all about the beauty of balance, my outlook on food is 80% healthy and 20% cheeky pleasure. So, live a little, enjoy that bowl of pasta (I'm a pasta enthusiast amongst other things) perhaps with a glass of rosé over dinner. Every time you eat use it as an opportunity to nourish yourself. I'm nuts about nuts, next to my avocado obsession. I'm snacking on all sorts of nuts; almond nuts, Brazil nuts, peanuts and walnuts. I eat them raw without added sweetener and I mostly prefer them raw than activated. I add nuts into my homemade smoothies, salads, desserts and granola bars. Think roasted beetroot, pumpkin, feta, cranberries, pumpkin and sesame seeds, rocket and nuts lots of nuts finish it with some drizzled olive oil and voila, enjoy.
 
These snacks are a habit in my snacking regimen now and I'm more than happy to continue this healthy habit into my lifestyle in later life. Developing healthy habits are good for optimum health not only does your present self thank you for it but your future self too. When you eat think vitamins, minerals and herbs I discussed this in my skincare tips. Eating healthy works to compliment your mind, internal and external body. I like to maintain my curves etc (hi booty, waist and face) so you can bet this girl is a foodie and loving it. I love going to farmers markets on the weekend and buying fresh organic quality fruit and vegetables. Look I don't want to throw praises to myself, but I'm a good cook if I say so myself. Martha Stewart has nothing on me. In fact I feel like I could teach Martha Stewart a few things (JK I love her). I'm an expert at making myself salivate trust me my turmeric ginger fish is the yummiest. Or perhaps my lentil, spinach and quinoa soup which is on another level. I love adding recipes to my handmade recipe book, it's a collection of love letters to food. Yeah I'm a freakin foodie, have no doubt about it.

3. Take Risks Be Bold 

I've always relished the bold side of me. Calculated or uncalculcated risks are better now than ever. When I'm in my future decades I want to be able to look back at my 20s and say, "been there done that, next". What's a life without a little risk? to me not an interesting one. I'd rather be bold than an absolute coward. In your 20s you get to learn about yourself and be passionate about things that you love most. This is what makes life in the 20s phenomenally beautiful. This is not to say the 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s aren't. It's that the 20s are the start of many new beginnings of the many dimensions of life. I said farewell to my teen years and hello to my 20's and I loved it. The future decades hold new goals, responsibilities, expectations, requirements and a new set of fun, so I intend to enjoy each decade as it comes.

Not only will your future self gain an advantage from your experiences. But you will be able to tell your kids "back in the day I did this" and they will probably roll their eyes and think "as if" because let’s face it kids often think they know it all. But with age comes wisdom so I'll say "whatever kid, you'll see". The point will be, so they know the importance of growth, the carefree joys and the exquisiteness of risk in your 20s. Understanding risks are lessons worth learning, you gain knowledge from experience. There is something so rewarding with being bold those beautiful gifts of growth, enhanced confidence, developing better instinct and sheer courage.

Some days I think of past memories and it makes me smile, to think I did all that. I'd do it over and over and over again, it just felt so good. I want to smile about it when I'm one of those old cute grandmothers you know? experiencing life on my terms rather than settling for less than I deserve. I don't want to look back and think I should have taken that opportunity for me. I prefer to be bold since I'm no coward, it's just not my style and don't like to associate myself to it. I don’t like regrets I prefer to take a risk and tick it off my to do list, than to live with "what if".

4. Learn A New Language 

I know seven languages: English (well duh), Spanish, German, Jewish, French, Italian, Japanese (fluency differs in each). Thanks to my love for the German, Jewish and French I know thanks to him. I was impressed when I saw him just casually reading a German book the other day. In primary school I learnt Italian and in high school I decided to take up Japanese. I wanted to learn a completely different language and I desired a challenge. I remember when I had an oral presentation all in Japanese, lmao (yes I just used that colloquial slang don't judge) that was fun. I learnt katakana and found it incredibly interesting. I would highly recommend learning a language. Not only does it come in handy when you travel or meet someone in your local space. I thoroughly shocked a Japanese friend when I sang to him a Japanese song I learnt in high school. You also have more options with a plethora of books, music and films with the more languages you know. I would recommend watching a Spanish film called The Invisible Guest (Contratiempo) on Netflix. I love Spanish films there so artistically pleasing. So, go on learn a new language it makes you more worldly and it’s a useful asset to have. It also broadens the linguistic side of the brain, so aprender un nuevo lenguaje es maravilloso.

5. Relationship 

I love certain particular people in unique ways. There are all kinds of love, but I believe never the same love. The love is always uniquely tailored, so the love is always different. The love is for different reasons and at different levels. Love is like an oak tree it branches out to my love for God, my parents, my weird human, my extended family, my dog (past and present), my friends (especially the ones who have become like family), I love this thing we call life and the list goes on. But the specific area I want to discuss here is my view on personal relationships in my 20s decade. Without divulging into this area too much. There’s a fine line between saying the very minimal but also expressing what I learnt in my 20s.

I'll keep this part minimal, but I will say this. Metaphorically speaking I see myself as a butterfly you might see this butterfly but it's hard to get your hands on. Butterflies fly so beautifully but are hard to get. A classic exclusive you don't get to touch. I'm self aware that this may sound arrogant and narcissistic, but sorry not sorry. I have high standards and I know my worth. I can't take it back, look where I'm at. I have no apologies for that. If I could write a letter to myself to the time before my 20s (my teen years) and to my future self after my 20s decade. This is how I would summarise my view on personal relationships currently in my 20s decade. Below I included an excerpt from one of the letters I wrote in my writing book.

Dear Me,
When it has to do with love here's how it is for you so far in your 20s decade. Yes, you have admirers and sure it's a fun compliment but thank you next. You know what you deserve, so you respect who you are since your self is exclusive. If anyone can have it you don't want it. What is good is never easy what is easy never good. It's always essential to remember who you are. Take up those opportunities given to you. You've got options, be wise. You're an original no one could ever be you (duh). Stay bold, and in whatever you do don't be a coward it's just not in your nature so stay courageous stay curious. You will find the reward that is your power, when you're bold. Get it and accept your shine. Be aware of your abilities and have fun with it. The bold euphoric lightness and the madness complexities embrace both sides of you. You know your class and your worth, be quietly confident but don't be arrogant about it. Have the right amount of grace to balance it out. You will outgrow things and grow beautifully into another. You will realise so crystal clearly that you are way above certain things. You hold high standards because you can, you will always be glad for it. Trust me, it always gets you what you want. Your both sides of the pendulum embrace it, it's all in you. You know you can do anything you put your mind to. You’ve been there done that, so take what you want. Your multifaceted style is a benefit you relish. Growth keeps you flourishing and that quite frankly my dear is amazing! so what should you do next?
From, Me.

People say your 20s can be such a weird phase. I love that, at 21 it was a very transformative age like the metamorphosis of a butterfly. I didn't want to be in a relationship with anybody at the time and I must admit I did ignore this particular person for a very long time. Made him go through so many hoops my gosh he is patient but, he loves a challenge clearly. So, while living my life this amazing man drops into my world. He makes my world extra sweet, it's paradise. I get so high by the way he loves me. It blows my mind. I'm glad that he’s a unique individual different from the rest. Blessed to have the weirdest, cuddliest, loveliest and boldest man by my side. Oh, did I forget to mention kind, handsome, intelligent and incredibly mad bonkers twisted insane? what a lovely weirdo. One of my most favourite and best decisions. I'm excited to grow with him, cross all the lines with him, lose my mind with him, dominate the world with him, be a kid with him and be a woman with him. We make each other better, smarter, a challenge and yet also an ease. He teases out things in me I didn't know existed. I inspire him rise to my level. He inspires me to rise to his. Words can’t suffice what I think about him, because to define is to limit what he means to me. I wanted to discuss this subject without saying too much as it's a private subject to me. Relationships teach you so much about who you are and what you want. My 20s really gave me the purest time to learn what I'm made of. l love the beautiful highs, the complexities, the absolute weirdness and the growth. I love it, I thrive on it.

6. Love Yourself Self-Care 

I need me time, it's a way for me to reset and restore. I'm a very individualistic person, so I love time for myself. I know I was able to be selfish in my 20s. Soon in the future I will have different priorities. I will love and relish that phase, so I enjoy all the phases of me. Self-care is an important priority for me. There are many dimensions that form my self-care regimen. My self-care involves getting my goals ticked off my to do list, healthy nutrition, a customised workout schedule, skin care regimen, vitamin regimen, incorporating me time in my schedule and importantly my state of mind. In my 20s I find myself very busy, so I try my best to fit in me time as much as possible. It's important to create downtime even in the busiest of schedules. For me that might mean cancelling plans to spend time with me and instead having an epsom bath, face mask and a cup chamomile tea (huge tea lover here) and then sleep my gosh I love to sleep. Whoever said koalas love sleep, no way baby I LOVE sleep. It's funny at times I don't even need sleep (bit of an insomniac night owl) but be kind to yourself and get enough sleep.

I like to remember that there are many dimensions such as me myself and I life, personal life, my family life, my social life and my professional life. There all important and are all a part of me. In between all those dimensions I make sure to include my other passions in order to fulfil my self-care. That might mean reading a book from my bookshelf. Or watering and caring for my houseplants, I love watching them flourish. I love watercolour painting, I love to create whatever I have in mind and it's curious for me to see my moods inspired. I could look at Van Gogh art and MC Escher's illusionary sketches for hours on end. I love listening to my favourite genre which is classical music. I might go to a bikram hot yoga class, it makes you feel impeccable after. I might shop, I've been a pro at it since I was a kid. I might cook up a storm and tweak my recipe book and I might do pilates which is an exercise I've been doing since I was thirteen years old. I might do all these things amongst other things. I see it as a circle and I'm in the center while all these dimensions are around this circle. But then there’s another circle around me and that is where the dimension of self-care is. The point I'm making is that yes, those other life dimensions are important. I have much love and respect for them they’re a part of me. But I always remember this and tell myself "I am my own person before all else and I am mine first before I am anyone else's" and that to me is self-care.

7. Develop Balance 

My 20s have been busy on a professional and personal level. It involves a mixture of different roles (personal life mode, professional mode, daughter mode, friend mode etc) I try to focus my energy as much as I can all the aspects of my life equally. Sometimes it's easy for your professional life to get so super busy. That it can interrupt the other dimensions in your life. I want to experience all the marvels of life around me. So to me developing a balance is highly imperative. I always use my calendar app on my phone it's full of everything to maintain an equilibrium. So managing through conflicting life schedules and juggling all the other things you want to get done is a priority. A friend of mine said this funny thing to me the other day "soon were going to have super needy spoilt kids so let's be selfish while we can". Do it all if you want but live a life that is well balanced that is key. In order for me to feel whole and in complete harmony the key is to play hard to the same level that you work hard.

8. Dance

I love dancing the night away with people I care about. I have this tradition of visiting a night bar with a dance floor at every city I visit. It's always a different vibe whether it's South America or Europe. I remember when I was in Paris and I thought South America celebrated hard but my gosh the French can party. It's a must whether I'm with my close friends or family I like to dance. I was always a person who never went clubbing, to bars or festivals. I mean I had been before but hardly ever, in my 20s you could say it was really like the first time going. I wouldn't say I'm a party clubbing sort of person (that's just not my scene) but now and then I don't mind getting on the dance floor. It's a beautiful feeling seeing the people you love have a good time and dancing the night away with you. I love looking back on memories so you can bet I have loads of pictures and videos. I mean I want to look back on it when I'm a great grandmother you know? I have those ones taken of me I will never show anyone on any social media platform, showing some serious (not really) dance skills at some night club bar in France, no one gets to see that (except maybe my people). It's just something about dancing letting your hair down and just enjoying life. Also memories of my parents and other family members like my (one of my two grandfathers) charismatic lively grand-daddy dancing with his wife having the time of his life. It makes me smile so much, I love them. A grandparents love is like no other let me tell you.

9. High Standards

I think having high standards influence your decisions and draws a line between yourself and the situation. I have high standards on myself whether I like it or not, whether I want to or not. I'm severely meticulous at times, I could stay up all night perfecting something. While others may say "it's great go to sleep", I go to sleep only when my mind is satisfied. I embrace my qualities but, I also self reflect overthink and overanalyze myself a lot. I find it constructive to be self critical and no one is more critical towards me than myself. So, while there are times when it would be nice to not over analyze and obsess. I know it was those traits of mine (at times annoying at times too much) that have always made the best of me shine through in whatever I did. It's those traits that gave me that extra edge to my creativity.

Up until now, I have had a very clear idea of the milestones I have wanted to achieve in various areas of my life. Setting goals are related to my standards. They set the direction. I set myself clear benchmarks I want to achieve and then review them frequently to make sure I'm on track. I have a tendency to be very meticulous of what I care about. I believe in the importance of "the details". My gosh some days it can be so annoying but like I mentioned before it's given me the best it's part of who I am. With regard to my interactions I'm picky but it depends who you are to me. In terms of my professional life I'm an open minded person to people of all ages and life experiences. In my 20s I relished this as an asset of mine. In regard to my personal and friendship life I'm picky. I'm open but simultaneously private too. It firstly depends who you are to me. When you have high standards, you create healthy boundaries and you teach people how to treat you. So having high standards sets the standard limit of what you will allow, refuse and reinforce.

10. A Private Life Is A Happy Life

My grandfather taught me three things to never discuss politics, money and faith in public. Keep it private. It's a statement that has influenced me have more than I show and to speak less than I know. To only let people know what I allow them to know. I'm not an open book, I wouldn't want to be easy to read. In regards to social media, we live in such a socially networked technologically advanced world. I'm a millennial, I was born in all this it's like second nature. Tech savvy, 21st century kid and nothing phases me easily. Yes, I've used these social media sites (myspace, fb, instagram) been there done that I won't be a hypocrite about it. But I guess as I've grown up my opinion has changed on it. I'm no longer as interested or if at all on using it as much. I don't mind social media sites, I get it it's a platform to stay connected and hey I'm the first one to admit I use whatsapp everyday and instagram occasionally. But I feel there's a fine line between pleasant and tacky when it comes to how to use it. I need to word this properly because I don't want to come across like a self righteous bitch you know? I guess I feel like I've outgrown it. I feel well above oversharing and overexposure. It's not an interest of mine, I value my privacy. I'm not an open book, I'm not easy to read. But you know what looking at it from the other side of things. Yes, I use these social media sites some more than others. But there's a fine line between sharing too much in a vulgar manner and having some decency about it. I'm all about being yourself and express it in whatever form you like. Not my circus not my monkeys, you know? But I don't feel the need personally to overshare things. I find it a little tacky and desperate. I read these articles (article 1, article 2, article 3) and I have to say it's worth a read.

I guess I've outgrown it and I don't have an interest in it anymore. The other night actually when I was out for dinner. I could see all these people looking at their phones while their significant other was also doing the same thing. I then turned and caught my cool dude of a man looking at me living in the moment enjoying life. It was in that moment that I thought, yeah he's a cool-ass man. Just like that I knew I was with somebody that was far too cool and for a fact too busy for these media sites. We had a laugh about it, but then he said this "Maybe it's their first time at this restaurant, hence the over excitement. They want to let the whole world know. Sure it's loud, crass and unsophisticated. But it's still a novelty to them". I love it when he says what I'm thinking, and he's right. His best friend has two words for it he calls it "nouveau riche". He's vieux riche, I adore him like a brother. But sometimes he can be so out of touch (so I take it with a pinch of salt) I've been surrounded by arrogant men my whole life but they love me and yet you learn to love back too.

So, to the masses who share their dinner and what not all over my facebook and instagram. I see you; I find it amusing and cute. Maybe they need some validation or affirmation, who knows? hey there's nothing wrong with that. I pass no judgement. If you want to show people what you had for dinner and every other aspect including the intimate moments. It's your life do so don't let me stop you, you do you (sorry I just had to say that phrase being a millennial and all) and I'll do me. So, go on do as you please. Not my circus not my monkeys. People that I care about, they know just enough about me but not everyone gets the privilege to know the ins and outs of of me or my relationship. I know how to post on social media and still live a life you wouldn't know shi... about. The best parts of our life don't need to make it to social media, were living it. I love keeping certain aspects sacred because it makes it special. The more I care about something, the more protective I am about it. To be fair, we do sometimes reactivate our accounts and we both have a laugh and it's cute to see what grandad's up to. Don't get me wrong we take photos and there in frames and photo collages/albums. But there's boundaries and I love that. I'm the type of person to give minimal information with maximum politeness, that's just me.

11. My Inner Circle Of People

I went to a private all girl school, it was pleasant but ultimately a sheltered world. Yes it's that and more like that show Ja'mie King Private School Girl, a little bit of dramatic bit... but love her. I've been told I have a dark sense of humour. So if you're easily offended this show might not be your cup of tea. Since my sense of humour is darkly twisted, I find this show simply genius. Anyway, we had these "London tan" coloured blazers (only the very best I guess) it was disgustingly horrid. I really hope they considered a new design update, it would be kind of them. You know it was actually a rule that we had to wear those blazers in public along with our straw hats or else my gosh forbid we get an after school detention. That rule would make me do eye rolls. I mean surely there are far more interesting things to worry about than that. Getting up in the winter mornings and into my winter outfit consisted the laborious task of tights, tie, skirt, blouse, vest, jumper and it goes on.

But I get it, it's all about the status, reputation, image and "you are representing" blah blah BS. I was a part of it, I had to participate. I had better things to do then spend my Friday afternoon in detention you know? so fuck it I participated. I call all that first world problems, ridiculous I know but those were the trivials. When I was younger I was more extroverted and wanted to be friends with everyone. If I was in the mood I was a total social butterfly. As I've grown up I've become introverted too I don't have the interest, time nor want to give my energy to just everyone. I'm much more selective and more picky with my time. So you could say I'm a bit of an ambivert (but I'm not really fond of labels), it just depends on my mood where I am and who you are. In my 20s I've been exposed to much more variety. I believe it's where you grow and expand the most socially. You build lasting friendships from university, work and friends of a friends. I've remained friends with some high school friends, others I've reconnected with over time and some I haven't seen ever again.

The very best of friends I love are from my 20s. They're my inner circle of special people. The ones who I've grown up with going through this thing called life with. The ones who are so close friends that they feel comfortable enough to sit me down and shut me up (impressive confidence, haha I like that). One of my best friends happens to be newly single at the moment. One of the best things about having a friend who is single, is listening to her hilarious at times disastrous dates they go on. So if your single and your bestie is not please tell them all the details because we find it hilarious as fuck. I adore her and she can expect me to be bluntly honest with her, keep her secrets and talk about anything without judgement. Also speaking about outings, in my 20's I learnt that sometimes you have to friend zone that guy quickly and politely (you know those ones that interrupt you in public, over dinner and while you dance). I find it it a little amusing but sweetheart do your thing just not directed towards me. In my 20s I became friends with people of all ages, different backgrounds, different social classes and it's best way to see the world. You grow when you mix with all classes of society, it becomes an asset for life. 

12. Read Books And Build Your Collection 

I will make a whole new separate blog post on my love for books and specifically my bookshelf. I've always loved the idea of a dedicated book room. I grew up always with a bookshelf full of my favourite books and I thank my parents for that. I had the pleasure of visiting The Royal Portuguese Cabinet Of Reading in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil. It is not only the largest library in all of Latin America but one of the best I've seen. That building is a work of art, it was truly a bookworms dream. In my 20s I gathered my own collection of books. I now have a library book room at home. My favourite genres are classics, anthology, health & wellness, psychiatry, poetry, psychology and non fiction crime. If I read fiction, the more twisted psychological mind fuck the better reading for me really. I find those types of books wondrously bizarre and unpredictable. Effective books have the ability to inform, shape, shake and change you.

13. Thinking Outside The Box 

I would say my 20s have been a time of an abundant amount of experiences. From experience comes an opportunity to increase your knowledge. Being like sponge to knowledge, has allowed me to make my perspective well informed. If I don't know enough of something that I have an interest in. I have this urge to study it, analyse it and make me learn about it. I'm an individualistic person and I rather lead than follow. If I like something and it happens to be appreciated by general society, that's fine. If I like something and no one seems to like it, I'm fine with that too. I'm more an individualist than a collectivist. There are times when I strategically choose not to go the general consensus way. Of course generally speaking common knowledge is useful and beneficial. In my 20s I came to the conclusion that there are times when one should rely on social information (theory that has been tested and beneficial) and when I should go my own direction and go about it my own way. For instance I'm grateful for my upbringing it was a beautiful bubble of privilege and safety, it was comfortable. Another example of conformity is getting an education. Everyone should get one according to the general consensus. I appreciate and believe in the importance of education. This is a positive example of conformity because an education is useful.

But there are times when conformity isn't beneficial and when one mustn't follow the general population. In order to see the world from other angles being a non conformist is important. In my 20s I did things that pushed me outside my comfort zone and away from my bubble. This helped learn about other lifestyles and perspectives. I feel it has given me an extra edge of information about other human behaviours and that insight helps me grow more as a person. It helps with discovering who you are as a person not your husband, your friends, your parents but who YOU are. Think about it, who are you without who your related to, who you know, who you hang with? I love and respect them all but I am my own person first and foremost. It's important to know who you are before you know who you are with everyone else, who are you without everyone else?. I like to question certain things in society at times in order to maintain my thoughts purely my own. It's a part of who I am to be very analytical, meticulous and nitpicky even if it can be utter madness when I'm like this. In this society there are sheep thinkers and free thinkers. There is a need for both conformity and non conformity for a society to function. I don't believe in settling for the sake of following crowds, trends or pleasing certain individuals. In the area of non conformity there can be much to learn about ones self. So get curious, question it. If you limit your thinking within the confines of a particular world. The perspective can start to become myopic so think outside the box. That's why I think it's important to branch out your thinking. Thinking outside the box forms a paradigm shift. This scene in my favourite movie Dead Poets Society perfectly sums conformity and non conformity.

14. Know The Difference Between Book Smart And Street Smart And Have Both

I come from a very well educated family. So having a university degree is an expected norm and an obvious obligatory achievement that one must hold. I value education and see the importance and value it brings to society. My concept of study is root memorisation of facts and application. But I believe true learning is far more abstract. It's one thing to learn facts and figures and it's another to have the ability to critically think. That is where creativity is found. Book smarts is someone who is scholarly well educated (pre-primary school, primary school, high school, university degree and post grad degree). Street smart (world smart) is having the ability to handle practical situations in everyday life. Knowledge is power and to be able to implement your knowledge and leveraging what you know to get what you want require a mixture of book smarts and street smarts.

There are certain things only books (formal education) can teach and certain things only the real world can teach. I think it's important and a useful asset to have both skills (book smart & street smart). I know people who are tactful and switched on without formal education. I know very well educated people who have impressive degrees but lack in social skills and real world street smart skills. My cousin is one of many, he's incredibly bright currently studying towards his PhD in Cambridge University and has presented at Harvard University by personal invitation. All that is respectable and good on him he's put in the dedication, time and effort. When we talk, he tells me how moving to Europe was a huge game changer he realised no matter how educated he was he lacked certain real world life skills. We laugh about it, I completely understand where he's coming from. I think it's important for me to understand how much I don't know and that life is a continual process of learning.

You shouldn't be cocky, you should always be open to learning new things expanding everyday. An although we may know a lot about our specialised degrees. There is still so much more to learn, so much to do. Need to do more need to be more. My grandfather said this to me when I graduated from university "Remember we may educated and this a worthwhile respectable merit however now you must fly, your degree is a part of you but you are also so much more. It makes a dimension of you but not all of you. Not one thing should solely define you, you are undefinable. You have so much more to do. I want you to learn the essence of adaptability and that a person who mixes with all classes of society is the most dangerous person. Why? because they know how to mix in different scenarios and settings. Being adaptive makes you sharper, faster, smarter and better. That is something the books cant teach you that is something you learn from real world experience." Having an accumulation of both book smarts and streets smarts makes you a more fuller whole human being.

15. Being Selective Of Who's Opinion You Care About

Everyone and anyone, has an opinion about anything and everything. Humans are interesting species like that. I get given opinions from family members, friends, work friends and even strangers. In my 20s I realised that's it's important to respect a persons point of view whether you agree or not. If you don't agree, tolerance is key and always with the utmost manners. People in my life love giving me their opinion and advice on random things. I'm an individualistic person so I may listen but I'm tactful and selective of what sort information I value. People's opinion are shaped by their world, always remember that. This is why thinking outside the box is utterly important, it's unbiased and unlimited thinking there.

There's levels to it for me. First and foremost Gods opinion matters most to me. Then my own opinion matters most to me. I know no one is harder on me than myself and I know I'm confident about who I am with that balance I form my opinions. The way I see it, is it won't matter if someone praises me with compliments. I firstly value my opinion so it's always dependent on my opinion first (my standard). Thirdly, my family and they come at a very close level after my own opinion. I care about my parents opinion, it's valued and I know it will always be brutally honest unsugarcoated opinion. I love them and they love me, they have my best interest at heart and mind. In my family of course include other family members and my love of a man. Fourthly, my close friends their opinion matters to me because there's a built loyalty. Fifthly, work friends, I care about their opinion on a professional level because we are in the same career. But of course I have work friends that become close friends so it differs.

If I respect that person, I listen to their opinion. That does not mean it will necessarily influence my opinion but let's just say it won't go in the ear and out the other per se. I'll see if the opinion is of use to me. Also it's important to remember every human is unique and what a beautiful thing that is. Some people are open minded other people are narrow minded. Some people are sheep thinkers others are original free thinkers. Which is why it's important to be selective on which opinion you value and respect. Never lose sleep over the opinion of a sheep. Now if an individual doesn't fit in any of those five categories. I'm sorry I don't really listen and I just don't care. The opinion of strangers or acquaintances I don't have the time or interest to care about. I may not care about their opinion but I do believe it says a lot about how you treat a person who can do nothing for you, it shows your character. So I try my best to carry myself with politeness, trust me manners never go out of fashion (in my books).

16. A Life Based On Your Interests Your Goals And Your Passions

Establishing a life based on your interests, passions and goals is something I feel strongly about. Not what someone else thinks you should be interested in, strive for or be passionate about but what you think. Who are you? what dazzles you? what tickles your fancy? what do you want? what do you need? what are your interests? what are your goals? what are your passions? It could take a while if I were to mention all my interests, passions and goals. I don't really want to get into all that and some of my goal lists (I categories them) I would rather keep private there a bit cheeky. But I will mention in short, in my 20s I established core interests, passions and goals. I've always been a goal oriented type of person. I use the any.do app, wunderlist app and my writing book nearly everyday. I find it funny when people say "that's my dream" to me personally I rather use the word goals because dreams while they are beautiful to have, I find goals get things done. Once the goals complete and ticked off my to do list, I'm on to the next one. I believe a persons interests, goals and passions are drawn from the many dimensions of a person. My self concept, is that I'm a multidimensional so my interest, passion and goals reflect that. An obvious interest and passion is of course my professional career, I love it. It's part of who I am but one would hope we have a life outside of it too. We are human beings not robots, remember that. Full of different dimensions covering others aspects of who we are. A good way to see it is by thinking about this question, what defines you? my answer to that would be to define is to limit because I'm many different things, with many different interests, passions and goals. I'm not one dimensional I'm multidimensional.

There are times when I have this surge of creativity that I have this urge to write all these thoughts. What doesn't go on pen to paper goes to my notes on my phone. I have this folder called "raw" basically my bizarre out of the blue thoughts go in there. It's like a surge of overflowing thoughts and sometimes I need an outlet to let my creativity be free. Probably why I have this blog it's an outlet for creativity of all sorts. I love the many forms of creative writing. I love writing poetry and prose in my spare time. I love reading through my writing books and remembering the mood I was in when I wrote them. The phases I was in, the thoughts I had at the time. The great part is that my personal writing books are like code books. Only I can decipher my handwriting, I have messy handwriting naturally. It's a pain but mind you I try be considerate if someone aside from me is reading it. I call it "consciously writing neat" it's good to be kind you know? Oh and thank goodness for laptop typing right? I like to use a mixture of handwriting and typing. In university I preferred handwriting my notes. But these days I prefer a mixture of both. I can't explain this feeling with words but it's like I have a flight of ideas, it's why I love writing. Can you see why I have this blog now?

I think it's important to maintain and feed a healthy curiosity. I'm a very curious person so naturally I have an abundant list of goals, interests and passions. I believe my dad instilled in me the importance of curiosity and pursuing it. When my dad was in boarding school in high school he joined the debating team as an extracurricular activity (hobby). One of the things my dad would always do with me as a kid was choose a topic and we would debate about it. Still even as I'm an adult now he randomly says so what do you think of this and that and he just listens. I think he enjoys listening to me critically think, form and articulate my opinions, to stay curious and passionate. Funnily I've noticed my grandfather does the same thing he chooses a topic usually globalisation or his infamous "what if" questions and it's discussed at the dinner table. My dad encouraged me to do debating just for fun when I was in high school. I loved it, I was able to discover many new areas of life I had an interest and passion for as well enrich my other established interests and passions. I remember one of the debates was over a philosophical statement and that particular debate made my curiosity go full throttle. Another debate topic which was chosen by me was about animal welfare, a huge interest and passion of mine. Safe to say that was a piece of cake easy win. It made me value the importance of having many passions, many interests and many goals because life is colourful and full of many dimensions.  

17. Stay Original

I love that saying by Oscar Wilde (one of my favourite writers) "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness". I think an original is worth far more than a copy. You see the original has the true power within them whereas a copy (sheep) can only dream and follow. Why be a copy when you were born an original? I rather be an eccentric weirdo original than a sheep copy who follows than lead a life for themselves any day of the week. Don't blend yourself down for the comfort levels of others. I'm a very individualistic person so originality is like second nature. I like who I was, who I am and who I will be. I like all the things that form me such as my interests, my thoughts, my goals, my passions, my personality traits, my family, my lovey, my friends and it goes on. We are so unique, we are all in this thing called life, living different lives, living in different phases and on different levels. In life respect who you are be confident about who you are, enjoy it. The other day a good friend of mine said to me "I so want to be you" when I was telling her about something that had happened she continued with lots of compliments and flattery. I told her "You should never want to be someone else. You should always choose you, look at who you are, no one could ever be you. You have all these unique qualities." Maybe she needed a bit of reminder but thankfully she's fully aware that she's a gorgeous (and outside too) smart cookie, she's all good. I understand what she said was a sign of respect that she values me and a total compliment coming from her because 1. she's so much cooler (what I consider cool) than me 2. she's pretty freaking brilliant. There is this lovely song I absolutely adore called Belle, it perfectly sums up the essence and my understanding of staying original. 

18. There's A Time To Play Like A Kid And There's A Time To Be An Adult

I'm in my twenties but I'm still a kid in some ways and you know what? sorry not sorry. I love embracing my inner child. I have all these important adult things ticked off my career work, university degree, house investments, my cars blah blah blah etc so if I want to celebrate my inner child guess what? I'll do what I want when I want and you will love it. I loved watching the Nickelodeon channel as a kid and that hasn't changed. I find Roger from American Dad freaking hilarious he's one of my favourite animation characters. I still watch a Hey Arnold or Daria episode here and there. I still get a little teary when I watch the end of Toy Story 3. When Andy gives away his toys to Bonnie. That scene is so touching (it's about growing up and letting go) my mind tells me "get it together it's an animation for goodness sake" but my heart must become warmer or something because the heart wins on that one. Also it's sweet Andy gave his toys away but he could've kept a few for his future children. My parents kept mine for that reason and I love that idea I can pass them down to my kids (like heirlooms haha). I still have my childhood toys Humphrey B Bear, Donald Duck (that sings when you squeeze his hand) and Blinky Bill they hold a high sentimental value to me.

When the new Crash Bandicoot game came out for PS4, guess who bought it? yeah me. I literally bought the PS4 set solely so that I could play Crash Bandicoot. Of course then I had to buy sudoku and The Witness PS4 game, I love playing puzzles. I love doing sudoku puzzles it relaxes me and it's an amazing distraction. So word sudoku was a nice twist to the classic puzzle. When I was a child I use to play Crash Bandicoot, Rugrats, Spyro, Tekken and Gran Turismo with my next door neighbour. I was very competitive as a kid and the funny thing is I still get such a kick of a thrill when I win playing video games. I love board games chess, monopoly and scrabble are my favourite board games. Also how trippy awesome is VR (virtual reality)? a friend of mine showed me his VR headset and I played this roller coaster VR game. I have two words for you, fucking phenomenal (sorry you may notice I like to use the word fuck a lot it's just such a concise word). Game night at my place is a thing so yes board games and PS4 are welcome. Having awareness and a balance is important. So I know when to play like a kid and when to be an adult, it's the best of both worlds.

19. Learn A Musical Instrument

My first encounter with a musical instrument started in primary school. It was the dearest (sarcasm intended) recorder instrument, which most Australian kids my age across primary schools had the obligation to take up at the time. My parents encouraged hobbies as a kid from playing netball every Saturday morning in primary school. I participated in cub scouts over the summer and my parents gave me the option to choose an instrument to take up. In high school I began taking up piano lessons by choice and I absolutely loved it. I love classical music it's my favourite genre of music. So learning to play the piano was very rewarding as I loved creating my own melodies (as much as I could). Fast forward to my 20s I wanted to get back to taking up piano again. So I did and I have to say it makes sense that I went back. I love classical music and being able play around and create my own melodies has been an invigorating experience. I love the intricacies and melodious sounds of piano. It brings me joy and makes me feel a little closer to a love of mine - classical music. I want to get excellent enough for it to make sense for me to own a grand piano. My grandad owns a vintage grand piano at his home and I think it's an absolute classic piece to own. Learning piano has been a perfect outlet to let my creative side go all out haywire.

20. Be Grateful Of Your Privileges

The most important thing out of all the many things I learnt in my 20s, is to be grateful. Gratitude is a moment of reflection to pause and give yourself a reality check and remember how blessed you are. You are breathing, you are living, you are YOU. But you know what my privileges, my education, my career work, my people, my assets, my status all of that means fuck all if I'm not happy within. I remember when I went on a road trip and visited the Australian outback with a few of my friends. I met this man and by the end of our conversations I knew that he lacked any sort of formal education, he had no interest in materialistic things, he lived a simple life, he walked around bare feet with his surfboard, he lived in the moment, he wasn't from money, he wasn't well connected and you know what? he was so fucking happy. He was rich in happiness than all of us in this group. We have our degrees, our career work, our projects, our investments, our carefully constructed plans and YET this beautiful stranger I met had one thing more important, happiness. He has no idea how our conversations will always be special to me. This person had wisdom in spades, his perspective on life was fascinating. He asked me one thing "You seem to have a lot going on for you but are you happy?" what an interesting question my new found friend had just asked me.

My state of mind is an area I don't want to dwell into too much but I will say this the best things in life are free the second best are very expensive. The best things are pure, rare, original, unparalleled and priceless. If you feel what I'm saying than your life is truly rich and money can't buy that it's way above a price tag. I'm so hard to please, I over analyze, I have high standards, that's just me. It can be a little much some days but it's important to stay grateful of this beautiful thing we call life. I'm grateful for all my privileges. I know how good I got it, thank you. I'm grateful for my stunning, clever, classy, elegant, perfectionist, so much beautiful than me mother and my eccentric (x100), intelligent, witty, weirdest nerd I know father. I'm grateful for my parents, they are interesting fascinating human beings. Thanks for giving me roots and wings to fly. Sometimes our ego can get in the way of staying humble and to expect things, without saying thank you. I try to thank God for all my blessings and lessons. Thank you God for protecting me from what I thought I wanted and blessing me with what I didn't know I needed. I find myself in awe by how God wonderfully blesses me and moments of wow thank you God I know that was you. It wasn't me it was God, my blessings my privileges all by God. To my past thank you I have much love and respect. To my present I'm here living and to my future hello. So your 20 anything, it’s beautiful, the best kind of weird, full of complex and light phases, a wonderfully crazed decade, enjoy it.

Be Well