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| Photo Credit: Stock Photo |
Well, hello it’s been a while since my last blog post. But it really has felt like a minute. I was reading my previous post which was over a year ago. So much space in between then and now and in that time all the things that have happened. Wonderfully expected and some unexpected out of the blue but beautiful things. I’m gobsmacked at how fast time goes when your busy living it. I have to thank God always for all my blessings and blessings to come, to say that I’m amazed is an understatement. Well of course I have to mention the big elephant in the room COVID-19. But aside from the pandemic to be honest I have loved 2020. I try to be mindful of other people because I know for some 2020 was a different year for them so in a low key manner without shouting from the rooftops I have loved the rest of what 2020 has entailed for me personally, professionally and emotionally. I was in the mood to type a post in my blog. I figured you can’t talk about 2020 without acknowledging COVID-19 and the fires that occurred in Australia (for which I have hope that nature has a beautiful way of restoring and remerging). I won't be further discussing the political and racial movements that occurred this year but it’s important to acknowledge it. I could just get back and skip all that and discuss other things (but priorities, right?) but I feel considering the issues it's probably not worth skipping through in my blog it's the big elephant in the room. I’ve been busier than my already busy schedule. But as I said in my about me section of this blog. "Me" time is important so I've reserved some time and I decided to discuss/reflect on the pandemic issue and this year of 2020. As always, my perspective should not necessarily be yours and vice versa. Always seek professional guidance/advice if needed.
I knew that when I began writing this post, I would definitely want to include an important side note that while I have personally loved the year of 2020. I say that while putting aside the issue of coronavirus. I just wanted to make that very clear because in no way do I want to make light, dismiss or make small of such a major global issue. I know for a lot of people the words self-isolation, hand hygiene, quarantine and social distancing are key words they heard frequently during this year. I know for some of my friends they began to work from home for a certain period. But I know there are people like myself who do not know what it was/is like to self-isolate and work from home. That idea was non-existent for me. It was a different experience the roads were less cluttered, the endless messages from family and friends telling me to take care on a daily basis, people flying in and out flights across the seven seas before the borders closed, there was a much more silent sound in the ambience (like living in a movie), elbow handshakes, there was reserved shopping times for health workers, good luck finding hand sanitiser at the shops (and toilet paper while you’re at it) ahhh those were the days. Can I just say in a proud way, I was not one of those humans who desperately hunted for toilet paper to hoard extras- just saying. I mean that single act of how some humans responded showed a different side of humanity it was eye opening. The concept of quarantine is non-existent because of the professional careers we hold. Sometimes when I'd watch the news, read the newspaper or talk with my colleagues I would wonder what it's like to work from home? While a majority were/are at home it was and is "business" as usual for people working in hospitals. The hospital is open 24 hours 7 days a week after all and sure, it was whole new ball game but you would be amazed at how humans can adapt so well.
You really should be practicing good safe hygiene even before this pandemic started. But if you’re getting into the swing of it now. Please do practice good hygiene. You wash your teeth, you shower? right. Well at least hope you do, you should practice good hand hygiene. I've had experience in various areas in my career journey from ED, ICU, general medical, theatre, psychiatry, acute medical, surgical medical and more. My experience has prepared me unknowingly for this pandemic. I've noticed that I tend to stay weirdishly calm and collected in critical medical moments. It’s like when everyone is a little chaotic, I feel the need to stay calm. I thank God I haven't freak out by this COVID-19 just yet. I don't know if this a personality trait of mine or genetic because my dad is the most nonchalant eccentric nerd person I know. I guess you have to be if you have your fingers in the inside of someone's buccal cavity right? I mean you can't freak out when you’re doing an oral surgery ( I mean that could get messy). That mindset is not the place for it. So, I'm guessing it's probably a genetic thing, he's a calm cool collected sort of person almost emotionless (some may say cold and clinical I say calm cool collected). I just wanted to remind everyone. That medical workers doctors, nurses and other healthcare workers you know we have our families too. I don't see my dad the way his colleagues, patients or strangers may see him. They seem see an orthodontist I see him as dad. I won’t be kissing him with compliments and fuelling his ego like I'm sure many do. Health workers are human beings who happen to have a career in area of health. We also have many things going on outside of our careers with many other dimensions going on. They also have families that worry for them. A concern of mine throughout this COVID-19 was not so much for me (I was willing and continue to be willing to be a front-line health worker I thank god I am healthy and young that I rather it be me than someone in a vulnerable group) but for members in my family who are in the medical field, my colleagues, the vulnerable groups (immunocompromised, elderly, children, the ill) and those living in poverty.
I wanted to end this post with the reminder to be grateful. I am so grateful for this year, the new memories, new experiences and new people I’ve met. Of course, the continued wonderful memories and my loved ones who have been with me every step of this wonderful year. Every year is uniquely special with its own reasons. This year was exceptionally special for me because I felt specific feelings in such a profound and new way. An electric new feel and a new experience of love. The intertwining into different branches like an oak tree yet all yet coming from one place and how it immerses and influences in such a beautiful way the other areas of my life. You know that saying when you know you! well if you know what I mean you will know. Certain events happened and they always be this wonderful experience and of the greatest memories because of how deeply I feel about those experiences. These new electric experiences made me wonder about new beginnings, outgrow situations and made certain aspects I had questions marks on finally answered and it made crystal clear sense. I found myself caring about these wonderful new things and parting ways peacefully with things I feel I have outgrown. Always trying my best to do things with love, because what’s done in love is done well.
The other day I was looking into one of my writing books from when I was 17 and I wrote ‘in the experience of love a person then truly comes a poet’ I found that line so poignant to how I feel now - today in 2020. Truly I have been very lucky to have experienced all that I have. It’s true, love does makes ones life poetry. This life demands to be felt. I realise now that these wonderful experiences that happened this year (and as in other past years and the future) as I lived my life and just like that these wonderful moments of pure electric (your whole world stands still sort of feeling) and suddenly it makes sense, you start to give zero fucks (in other words, care less pardon my French) about certain things you did once as a kid, you outgrow it in order to go to the next level of life, and while still in a kid in some ways you peacefully let go (with much love and respect) because what’s in front and ahead of me is what has made everything make more sense. This feeling is like an addiction, I know it's a part of the next step of my future and when it happened can I just say in my head I said something along the lines of “oh now I get it, so that’s why that happened and that happened there, so this could happen” and with a smile and a crazy sense of humour - I’m so grateful.
I know I may sound somewhat bonkers they'll tell you I'm insane (and yes I adore T.S and like that song) but love is madness right and that is not even a question. Fuck yes, it is and yes maybe I’m crazy but you will like that. Quite frankly I don’t really give a f… that perhaps I’m a little crazy like a close one in my life says to me its always the best ones. I feel like I’m half typing in code here. I don’t want to say too much, because funnily I’m notoriously private and frankly I don’t feel the need to. But I also wanted to include something for the year on the final day of this year in my blog and this post could not be more fitting to sum up the year of 2020. I’ve been writing so much this year, some people take a photo to capture a moment (I do that too) but I write heaps to reflect and capture an experience. So I can look back and remember the experience and I love it so much because I’m glad I have these moments in my life. The year of 2020 has been monumental and a huge step towards my future and the years to come.
If you know me (deep deep down truly well), you would know I love structure. I love precision. So, I’m going to structure how I would summaries this year into categories; one enriching what already have and know and continuing that growth, two peacefully outgrowing certain aspects and three the wonderful beautiful new experiences. You know those sayings what’s meant to be will be, when you know you know. Well let me let you in on a secret (stranger reading this). I was doing my things this year, expanding and enriching what I have and know and suddenly unexpectedly these wonderful out of the blue moments happened. Truly the meaning of beautiful unexpected moments was felt this year. Suddenly this year I experienced something I didn’t at all plan, one moment that opened a door were I met this new world of experience and it is that fucking electric out of this world feeling. It’s crazy to think that if I had not had that moment how different it might be and I don’t mean that in a bad or good way. But this moment added more sweetness to my already blessed life. An addictive feeling (obsessed!) I don’t know if I could ever want to let go. My mother the other day said to me ‘you love so intensely’. I was amused and responded with ‘you say it like its a bad thing, I suppose when it comes to matters of love I’m either all in or you get nothing from me sort person. When I love, it’s all extremes. I get it all. I’m lucky like that’ it feels so meant to be. It made me think ‘this is life, about moments, timing is everything, this is being human’. You know that saying, what’s meant to be will be and this year really proved to me how true that saying is. Life is happening within us and all around us, this year has made me feel so enlightened and it's been a beautiful fundamental revelation for me. I’m so grateful to God because I believe these certain experiences were meant for me - meant to be. The timing, the clarity, the moments, the experiences, the opportunities, the tempting tests, the outgrown and the growth. So beautifully structured for me and yet I didn’t plan any of it. They happened and I experienced it. I’m so grateful to God. I feel so privileged by how God blesses me. Here's to a wonderful and beautiful 2021, thank you God for the past, the present and for the future blessings to come.
May God bless each and every one of you.
Be Well
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